Sup fellow degens, 

Liquidity. 

That word. We talk about it a lot. We use it to mean the depth of an order book, size of a prize pool, or the terrifying speed our portfolio is drowning in a bloodbath and into the casino’s vault. 

In Middlesbrough, UK, they are taking the word literally. 

Local news reports have confirmed that the former Rainbow Casino at Teesside Park is being converted. They're not rebranding. They are not pivoting to crypto. 

They are turning the gaming floor into a swimming pool. 

Talk about being unbelievably liquid. 

The site used to be a Gala Casino. 

Then it became the Rainbow Casino. 

If you know anything about UK land-based casinos, sticky carpets, the smell of desperation and stale heavy beer, and a 2 am crowd full of insomniacs and truck drivers trying to win on a rigged roulette wheel are staples. 

The place went bust in 2016. It has been sitting vacant for nearly a decade. 

A 15,658-square-foot tomb. 

For nine years, this building stood as a monument to negative EV. I'm sure the ghost of bad beats has been trapped inside, bouncing off the walls like Pinball. 

Now, a company called “swim!" (yes, in lower-case branding and the excited punctuation) has submitted plans to gut the place. They want to install a “linear swimming pool," changing rooms, and a viewing area for parents. 

You cannot write this irony into a script. 

Think about all the terminologies we use when we lose: 

The Middlesbrough Council looked at a building where thousands of men financially drowned and said, "You know what this place needs? More water.” 

They are replacing the sharks with kids just wearing floaties. 

The jokes write themselves. 

It gets funnier. The building directly adjacent to the dead casino is now a Ninja Warrior UK adventure park. Ninja Warrior is a physical obstacle assault course where you can learn to dodge debt collectors. 

Ten years ago, this was a place you could smoke cigarettes, drink overpriced gin, and lose your family's vacation money in a Blackjack pair-bet. 

Now? 

It's like the entire property is being repurposed to rehabilitate degens into functioning members of society. 

It’s disgusting. 

I am a degenerate. But I have concerns for the kids who will be learning to swim here. 

Buildings hold energy. You can paint the walls, remodel the rooms, rip the carpet, and install state-of-the-art cooling systems to remove the scent of panic. But the vibes remain. 

Imagine little Tommy trying to learn a butterfly stroke. He reaches down 6 meters at exactly the location where Blackjack table #3 used to be. 

Suddenly, he feels a cold chill. 

A supernatural force holds him. Whispers to him: 

“Double down… split the 8s…” 

Now, Tommy doesn't want to swim anymore. Tommy wants to go back up, walk to the kiosk, and put his lunch money on Red. 

Since the pool will have a viewing area for parents, his mum can watch him go from Michael Phelps to Trainwreck. 

The planning agent argued that the pool is necessary because there are no suitable sites in the town center. They say it will have a “glazed entrance" to enhance the appearance. 

For me, it's the desecration of a holy site of degeneracy. 

I understand that land-based casinos are a big investment. Physical casinos incur rent, electricity, staff, security, and regulatory costs. Paying for ambiance isn't a degen thing anymore; the RTP isn't worth it. 

But I also respect the hustle. The “swim!" business model is subscription-based. Like Netflix, parents pay a monthly fee. That's recurring revenue. 

Gamblers? We are unreliable. We go bust. We self-exclude (like the guy from yesterday's newsletter). 

Parents trying to stop their kids from drowning? That is a customer base with zero churn. 

My bet: 

Over/under 6.5 months before a parent finds an old poker chip lodged in a drain pipe. 

Rest in Peace, Rainbow Casino.

You took our liquidity, and now you have to become the liquid.

TL;DR: The derelict Rainbow Casino in Teesside Park is officially being gutted and turned into a kids' swimming pool. After years of watching punters drown in debt, the building will now be filled with actual water. It is the ultimate "liquidity event."

Stay degen,

Dima