Sup fellow degens, 

Happy New Year, you magnificent degenerates.

It is January 1st, 2026. 

The resolutions are already made. Your bank account is looking at you with judgment. You are probably thinking about "quitting" or "budgeting" or "acting like an adult."

Stop it.

I just watched the most important financial video of the decade. It wasn't Warren Buffett. It wasn't a crypto influencer. It was an old guy in a hat who has been gambling for 58 years and is still standing.

He laid out the blueprint for 2026. While the rest of the world is crying about "responsible gaming," this absolute legend dropped the only strategy that matters:

"The smart ones double up, double up, eventually you get it all back."

This guy is my spirit animal. 

Here are the 4 rules from the "Fat Tony" Protocol.

1. It’s Only Bad If You Stop 

The interviewer (a total normie) tried to claim that gambling ruins lives, loses houses, and costs kids their college tuition.

Our hero: Not true at all.

This is the mindset you need.

Logic: "Gambling is okay as long as you keep winning."

The philosophy here is simple: If you lose, you don't quit. You double down.

Eventually, you gotta win something. It’s statistically impossible to lose forever.

Most people stop right before their big win. They take the L and walk away. We, the degens, keep pressing until the universe is forced to pay them.

2. Enter "Fat Tony" 

The biggest problem with the "Double Up" strategy is running out of chips. The banks won't lend you money to bet on the Raiders. Credit cards leave a paper trail.

So, where do you get the capital?

"You can always get money... If you borrow it from, you know, Tony."

Now, the financial illiterate might call this "loan sharking." We call it High-Yield Unsecured Lending.

Three points (3%) a week is a small price to pay for infinite liquidity. Banks ask for credit scores and tax returns. Fat Tony just asks for your kneecaps as collateral. That is what I call skin in the game.

Do you want "Fat Tony's" number? The interviewer did.

And so do I.

3. Soda ROI (Return on Intensity) 

Why do we do this? Why do we stress over spreads and totals?

The normie asked: "What's the point of gambling if you're not gonna get rich?"

Grandpa’s answer was pure poetry: "Because it's a lot of fun."

He described the perfect Saturday:

You watch it on TV.

If you win, you cheer.

If you lose, "you throw the soda at the TV."

This is the visceral experience the modern world is missing. We are too sedated. We need the highs of the win and the lows of the soda stain on the drywall. Even his daughter does it.

She’s not getting rich, but she "does okay." That is responsible parenting.

4. The "Guy" vs. The "Site" 

Finally, we got the most crucial piece of OpSec advice for 2026.

The interviewer asked how to get started.

Option A is to go on a website, give them your credit card.

Option B is to “call up a guy and he'll take your action."

The interviewer correctly chose Option B immediately. "No. I'm not giving my credit card. I'll call a guy."

This is the way. Keep your finances off the grid. If you use a credit card, the algorithm knows you lost on the Raiders.

 If you use "The Guy," it’s just between you, him, and Fat Tony.

The old man in the video has been gambling since he was 15. That is 58 years of action. He lost on the Raiders last night. Did he care? No. He said, "Doesn't matter."

That is the energy we are claiming.

That two-word phrase is the most powerful philosophy you will hear all year. It is Stoicism for degenerates.

Lost the rent money? Doesn't matter.

Tony is calling? Doesn't matter.

The parlay missed by one leg? Doesn't matter.

Because the next bet is coming. The the loss is temporary, but the action is eternal.

So, here is my final decree for 2026. The world wants you to be safe. They want you to use responsible gaming tools and set deposit limits.

They want you to bet $5 on a Sunday and smile politely when you lose. 

Refuse. That is not living. 

Living is throwing a soda at the TV because you care too much. Living is having the audacity to believe that if you just keep doubling up, the math has to turn in your favor.

Now, somebody get me Tony's number.

TL;DR: We found the financial guru of the decade—an old man who has been gambling for 58 years and is still standing. He destroys the "gambling is bad" narrative with simple logic: "Gambling is okay as long as you keep winning." When you lose, you don't quit. You simply "double up." Eventually, the universe is forced to pay you back. That is our mantra for the new year.

Stay degen,

Dima